Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Being a Stepmom

My new favorite blogger put my thoughts into words...I am speechless

Thank you my friend...you are helping me more than you know


Stepmoms Have Needs Too



"If there is one part of being a stepmom that is very unexpected, it is the sense of loneliness that descends upon you once the wedding glow wears off and reality sets in.

There we are with a brand new family, and we should be feeling the opposite of alone—but that is exactly how we do feel. Even the love of our husbands and (if we’re lucky) affection of our stepchildren doesn’t seem to crack the feeling of emptiness and exclusion that can hit us when we least expect it.

The loneliness that stepmoms feel isn’t from a lack of love or companionship; it is from being entirely misunderstood and left out. Even our own families can sometimes make us feel like we don’t have a right to be upset about something, have an opinion about happenings or take part in things. None of the people that love us do this to isolate us, but that’s exactly what it does.

Look, nobody is more acutely aware of the fact that we’re “not their mother” than a stepmom is.

Really.

We honestly don’t need to be reminded. What we need is a shoulder to cry on that doesn’t minimize our feelings because they are not driven by biology. We need a sympathetic ear that won’t admonish us for having negative feelings about the one who is linked by biology. We need teachers and coaches to understand that if we have the guts to show our faces at an event, the last thing we need is to be minimized as if we were Dad’s accessory.

There isn’t a sane woman out there that goes trolling for a divorced guy with kids. Some of us just happen to find our soulmate in that guy—-and we pray that the rest works out.

Here is my wish for this new year and decade: if you know a stepmom—cut her a little slack. If you love her, give her a hug and tell her how much she is appreciated.

She’ll love it. I promise."

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